Lil Deadpool Super Duper Secret Asgardian intelligence Excursion- Version 2.0
Codename: Last Golden Girl
Like most attempts for the back door, I was met with very strong resistance the last time I tried to sneak into Asgard. Loki pretty much put me into a delirium coma that left me walking around talking gibberish for a few days. He just made the list, which usually ends with a bullet signed by yours truly traveling through the brain of said listed person.
But vengeance can wait for now. I need to get into Asgard so I can get paid. I scaled the walls and made my way from the bottom. I made sure to avoid detection by the guys in the golden armor and pulled myself to the tippy top. When I pulled this gorgeous piece of man meat onto the top of that wall I found a golden haired god pointing his hammer at me.
Not that hammer, sinners! I’m more of a Spider-man kinda gal as it is.
Everyone knows this guy. Girls scream for him and the guys wanna be him. Who wouldn’t want to live an eternity without suffering from male pattern baldness? Thor here decides he is going to challenge the red clad, motor mouthed king himself to a fight. If I won I got my intel, if not he tosses me all the way back to earth.
Boys and girls, when the god of thunder tells you to stop talking and prepares to fight it is not a good idea to sneak in a nut shot. It didn’t even make the guy flinch and believe me I got him square in his godly hanging fruit with a perfectly placed shin.
Instead he tossed me a few hundred feet. I woke up and had to go looking for a significant portion of my face. It’s no fun re-growing a jaw. So it’s better that I took the time to find it and re-attach that sucker.
It wreaks havoc on your self-esteem to wander around in front of the walls of Asgard while all those armor clad warriors laugh and call you names. It’s all going be A-OK inner Deadpool. I’ll just hum the Cheers theme song and pretend they are construction workers cat-calling me. Don’t cry, don’t cry, DON’T YOU DARE CRY!
Just… don’t… let them… see it.
-James Romansky is a graduate from NMSU and has written many Lil’ Deadpool Diary Adventure Parodies for Zia Comics in Las Cruces New Mexico. He is the photographer and editor of the photos that correspond with each story of the series as well. A Native New Mexican, James predominantly writes short fiction loosely based off his experiences in the southwest.