Li’l Deadpool Diary Adventure Parody
Two Cue Balls and a Surf Board
There are moments in every man’s life when they are looking into the mirror at the gym and he thinks, my god; I am the hottest thing that has ever worn tight spandex on top of risqué lingerie. Then someone like him walks in and you swoon, hate him a little, but none the less, swoon.
You just put your clothes back on, suck in that chimichanga gut and walk on out of the gym trying not to sob. You do though, hard. Ever heard a grown man cry? Sounds like a dying animal.
Well, the Silver Surfer is that hombre. The guy looks like he was chiseled out of marble. Then lady Gaga got hold of him and painted him some audacious shade of opulence.
Unfortunately, he did this whole “Have you heard the word of our lord and devastator,
Galactus?” I tuned him out about halfway through that old song and dance.
After he was done rambling I asked how much the job pays, cause Lil-D has to eat. He just replied “How much are everyone’s lives worth, Wade?” in his stupid Morpheus voice.
My evaluation, in order of importance and panache, is he’s that level of uncomfortable good looking that really leaves you thoroughly disturbed. On the flip side, there is nothing but gloom and doom in that guy’s dome-piece.
A real downer and papa needs him some light comedy. Lastly, the guy has no pockets. Literally none. Where does he keep his snack packs, his burritos, and his candy?!
Guy walks around nude all day and catches no heat for it. I do it and the Avengers come out in full force. You can’t cage this bird, society! Pants or no pants, preferably none.
-James Romansky is a graduate from NMSU and has written many Lil Deadpool Diary Adventure Parodies for Zia Comics in Las Cruces New Mexico. He is the photographer and editor of the photos that correspond with each story of the series as well.
A Native New Mexican, James predominantly writes short fiction loosely based off his experiences in the southwest.