Lil Deadpool Super Duper Secret Asgardian intelligence Excursion- Version 3.0
Codename: Out of Codenames
You may be asking, “Lil Deadpool, how did you ever come to find yourself in the sewage drainage of Asgard?” Well dedicated reader, if you saw my first two attempts at gaining entrance to Asgard you saw the utter failures of my career (not including that three months in college when I was going through some confusion). Still enjoy the dresses though.
Anyway, I’m wading my way through the river of floating god poo trying to get paid for a job that should have taken no more than a few days. We’re on week three and seriously, I need to get paid. Rent is almost due and its either finish the job or go get a girlfriend, move in without her not knowing, and hopefully live for a month or two rent free.
I can’t get a straight job either so don’t even go that route. I’ve tried. I don’t have any marketable skills and flipping a burger without using your hands isn’t considered noteworthy.
If anything, I’ll report back to my employer and make up some stuff or just go to Minnesota and ask people about what they think Asgard is. We’ll go with that option.
I’m gonna have to burn this suit. Don’t get me wrong, after a good hot chimichanga I can let a boomer out that could knock a buzzard off a gut wagon. But this, this stuff stains.
Another hard decision. Breath through your nose or mouth? Either way those are poo particles coming in. I have never respected Andy Dufresne more in my life. I was always more of a Morgan Freeman man but he didn’t do the poo pipeline mile like Andy boy.
I eventually got tired of the river from brown town and got out at a nice little pasture. I think I’ll nap and decompress for a while. Contemplate my life and the bad decisions I’ve made.
Seeing that much crap makes you reevaluate what you’ve done, predominantly to people you’ve left flaming bags of your own poop for. Seriously, why does everyone stomp them out? They have to know there’s poop in there. I am now going to apologize for that.
I, Lil Deadpool, am genuinely sorry for the grievances my flaming bags of poop have caused you.
- Scott summers
- Professor Xavier (not gonna lie, still pretty funny)
- Tony stark
- Frank Castle (all three times)
- Steve Rogers
I apologize for all that poo and will from this day forth, stop sending you the videos of you stomping them out. I will keep those to myself along with the hilarity they incite.
-James Romansky is a graduate from NMSU and has written many Lil’ Deadpool Diary Adventure Parodies for Zia Comics in Las Cruces New Mexico. He is the photographer and editor of the photos that correspond with each story of the series as well. A Native New Mexican, James predominantly writes short fiction loosely based off his experiences in the southwest.